Over a century ago, Albert Einstein showed that time is intrinsically elastic, capable of being stretched or shrunk by motion. This effect can be easily measured by using an atomic clock and it involves only billionths of a second. By stretching time, we move into the future. Moving into space where dreams are kept and hopes are placed. Some days, we pray to move faster into the future where we place our hopes, hoping and wishing that good things that will create happy memories to happen. Or maybe, for many of us, looking at my friends who have planned their future carefully and intricately, they look forward to the future more than they look forward to their days tomorrow or the hours and time in the later part of their days. I have asked a few people who have complained endlessly about how tired and meaningless their lives are at the moment why do they not have fun and do the things they love, and I have gotten answers by which they said that they will enjoy their lives in the future and they are currently working hard for their future and fun and happiness is a secondary choice.
Is the future so important?
I believed in the future too much once. I believed that the future will be beautiful as long as I planned it out. I believed that I have the ability to create a better future and I kept myself positive because the mind creates the future. I believed that I would be the one creating my future and that my future would be a beautiful one because I would not give up and I would never give up. Then, I took a moment to look at life, to realise that I believed in the future too much and I had missed out all the fun in life in the present. I missed out the love that was given to me and I missed out the things that were there for me. I missed the people who I would love to keep and I missed the words the ones that loved me had to say.
If I were given a time machine, I would go back into my past. Going back into the past is far more complicated than going into the future. To go back into my past, I would need both speed and gravity, to pull me, to compress me and to distort me. I would go back into the past because I have missed out so many things in my life which I can never get back anymore. I would fight harder. I would stand stronger. I would be better. I do not have much regrets in my life but I would go back into my past and grab onto the things that i have missed out, the people that I have left without looking back.
If I were given a time machine, I would go back into the past and help myself out of my misery and make myself see how truly beautiful the world was. The world is not a very nice place in some places but the beauty is still there and it can be enhanced by me, by us, by everyone and being me, I was just corrupting the world in my own selfish ways, not wanting to help and choosing to be by myself most of the times. If I could go back, I would hold myself up and dance in the rain with myself.
I have missed out so many things and so many people in my life. I wish to go back and meet him for the first time again. I would like to go back and tell him he matters to me so much and I loved him. I would go back and tell him that he was, and still is, one of the most amazing person I have met and that I have loved him. I would go back and look into his eyes, without hesitation. I would love hard and play hard without any thoughts, and not thinking about the things that would hurt the people I have truly loved. I would go back and make him see that we are so similar it hurts me to be apart from him. I would go back into the past and fight for him this time, I would not just walk away. I would go back into the past and kiss him when I had the chance. I would go back into the past and tell him I love him and cry after he had left, just to wake me up from my dream in the future.
Everything remains as memories and I love my memories. I would keep them the way they are and I would not want them to change. My past, my mistakes and my regrets are the things that mould me into who I am today and I am truly grateful. I am grateful that I have met him and even though there is a part of me in him that I will never take back, I am happy to smile at him. I will smile at you without any restrictions because you deserve a smile from everyone.
If I have a time machine, I would go back and hug you. I don’t want to live in the past anymore, but there is a part of me which I can only find in my memories.