I wake up each day to the sun and move on without stopping until the end of the day. I would just go on and on and on without bothering to stop and cry. I would smile and laugh and say that everything is okay and that I will be fine to everyone because at one point in life, I have thought that with positive thoughts, things would be better. It was okay, everything was really okay and everything went on fine. I loved the way things were and I loved my strength to stand up and never back down.
It is until recently that I realise I am really, really tired too. The fact that I wake up everyday and face the world with a huge bright smile does not mean that I am a very strong person. The fact that I walk with my head help up does not mean that I am comfortable with my looks or that I feel confident enough to walk through the crowds. I am just like everyone else. I am scared and I am easily tired sometimes. But I believe that humans should push themselves through endless boundaries to make the impossible happens. I have a friend who is perfect in so many ways he might as well hold the world up. I used to tell myself that if he can do it, so can I. However, it hits me that I never really understand what is going on in his life and to say that whatever he can do, I can do it too is just a dream that needs superhuman strength to accomplish because from where I come from, it was quite a mess.
I would walk into college with plans for the day and sometimes I don’t follow them. I don’t follow them because sometimes I would think that I could use a bit of free time or maybe help my friends out a bit. They would say that I work under pressure and I work well with stress.
Oh, have you seen the stories behind?
I am a human too. I can’t answer all your questions. I am human too. When criticism gets too tough, it hurts me too. I am human too. Even though I have asked to be criticise terribly, I still want to be complimented a bit. I am a paradox. I want to be loved but I am afraid to be loved. I don’t like myself and yet I love who I really am. I want to be happy and yet I make myself think about things that would make me sad. I don’t know what I am thinking sometimes. I would just sit there and think about the things that could have happened but never did and regret. In the end, we all regret the chances that we did not take.
I am human too, so please, do your part and when everything falls apart, don’t expect me to hold everything up.