I am speaking a lie

It is funny how I would always say I would not lie to you.

I would not lie to you. I would keep my head down if I do not wish to share a certain information with you. I would not lie to you and let you live in your fantasy because I think it is essential for us to face what is in front of us and make the best of it. I would not lie to you in so many ways. I would always tell you the truth and if there is anything bothering me, I would tell you straight away. I do not expect us to play games that no one would ever understand and I do not expect things to go the way I wish if I do not make it clear what I really want from you. So, I would not lie to you.

You can ask me a thousand questions and I would tell you a thousand truths. I would shy away and tell you there are things that I do not want to tell you. Nevertheless, I would not lie to you. I would tell you stories and tales of many, which involve me or the people around me and I would not lie to you. I would not exaggerate anything or make anything any less real than what it is in real life. I would not lie to you.

But.

When you ask me whether I still love you, I would look up into the sky and flip my hair and say, “No, I am not. I have gotten over you. I have loved you and I think what we had was beautiful but life requires me to move on and I will. You have chosen to leave and there is no reason for me to grieve over your choices. I have gotten over you, just like how you have gotten over me.”

That is a lie.

If I say I do not love you, I am speaking a lie.

I have not gotten over you and it will take up to an eternity to make me forget you. The possibilities of me forgetting you as someone who I have loved is so nil and impossible. I have loved you and that is a fact that can never be denied. I have loved you and when I say I am not loving you, I am speaking a lie.

“Do you still love me?”
“No, do you?”
“No.”
I am speaking a lie.

But.

Are you?

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