It was as if yesterday

It was as if it was yesterday when I prayed to God and asked Him to take away my emotions.

It was as if it was yesterday when I cursed at the world and swore that I would never choose to be back here on Earth if I were given the chance.

It was as if yesterday when I covered my ears and pretended that nothing had happened and I walked away from the people that loved me.

It was as if yesterday when I walked into my high school with my head down and pretended that nothing was bothering me.

It was as if yesterday when I met him.

It was as if yesterday when I fell for him.

It was as if yesterday when he left me.

It was as if yesterday when I lost faith.

It was as if yesterday when I found my ways to my emotions again and to love again.

It was as if yesterday when I met him again. That time, he was different and I hated the way he looked at me because it felt like he was mocking me.

It was as if yesterday when I promised myself to be better than him.

It was as if yesterday when I cried through days and nights because I knew that he was gone, forever.

It was as if yesterday when I dated another boy just to forget him and to convince myself that I was over him.

It was as if yesterday when I told him Happy Birthday.

It was as if yesterday when he told me he wanted a gift from me that no one else could give.

It was as if yesterday that I wished the gift was me and my presence.

It was as if yesterday when we met again. That time, I realized that no matter how hard I would try to tell myself or convince myself, I would never get over him because he was the first person that I loved and he was the person that broke the barrier that I had built up around me. He was the first person that took my heart and let it break into little pieces, so small that I could not find myself. He was the first person that told me that I was perfect. He was the first person that I trusted so much.

It was as if yesterday that I loved him so much, unconditionally that I did not expect anything from him, not even his time, his presence, as long as he loved me and that was all I needed.

It was as if yesterday that we walked our own paths again.

It was as if yesterday when I decided to talk to him. When he asked why I told him that not everything needed a reason and that I just wanted to say hi.

It was as if yesterday that he said he wanted to see me.

It was as if yesterday that he left again without second words.

It was as if yesterday that I was strolling down London streets when he text me and said to keep in touch.

It was as if yesterday when we stopped talking.

It was as if yesterday when we started talking.

It was as if yesterday when I saw him again.

It was as if yesterday when I cried to myself, calling myself stupid for loving a boy who broke me again and again.

It was as if yesterday when he left again without a reason. After all the beautiful moments and things that we shared.

It was as if yesterday that I held a grudge against humans and built a taller wall and barrier.

It was as if yesterday that I hated everyone because I thought that he broke my trust again.

It was as if yesterday he said he missed me.

It was as if yesterday that I cried because I missed him and I was convinced that he would never miss me. He had a wonderful life and he was perfect. I was a mess and I was in pain and I was depressed. I was nothing compared to him.

It was as if yesterday when he stayed and told me that I was everything that he wanted.

It was as if yesterday when he told me I was beautiful.

It was as if yesterday when I dared to hope that he might like me again.

It was as if yesterday that I fell for him, all over again.

It was as if yesterday.

It was as if yesterday when I told him we had to be friends forever. I said that because I knew that he would never like me again. I said that because chances were, if I did not, we would not have the bond between us ever again and I did not want to lose him. I said that to not lose him, even though I wanted to be more than friends. I told him we had to be friends forever because I did not want him to think that I liked him.

It was as if yesterday when he agreed to it.

It was as if yesterday when we would talk so much.

It was as if yesterday when he said he missed me again.

It was as if yesterday that I believed, again, that he could like me.

It was as if yesterday that I loved him without trust.

It was as if yesterday that I tore down my skin because I could not trust him.

It was as if yesterday that I realized how unhealthy the relationship was.

It was as if yesterday that I decided to trust him again.

It was as if yesterday that he told me he wished he could turn back time so that we would have met sooner.

I love you now, and until a very long time. I can love you for a very long time, maybe even forever. I will love you forever. I know forever is a very, very long time, but I know for sure that I can love you for a very, very long time.

I love you. And that is all.

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